Now don't get me wrong. I like a blueberry as much as the next man. Dashed good taste to the little blighters but chaps... it's distinctly un-British to allow them to surpass the raspberry and the strawberry as the nation's most loved berry fruits.
I was having a quick snifter at the Surfeit of Lamprey with fellow drinkers, Nigel Snipe-Razzel and Geoffrey Loosley-Gaye when my eye was caught by an article in the Times.
"What ho!?" I yelled, waving the offending headline in front of them. I can tell you that Geoffrey spluttered into his beer so much the poor fellow nearly drowned.
"It'll be blueberry jam at breakfast, next!" Nigel Snipe-Razzel shook his head, coating everything around in a fine spray of hair oil.
"Never" I banged my fist on the bar, waking old Ted Gracecrease who blinked and asked if "that Randall fellow had gone in yet" "Never!" I continued "Maddy would never abandon her Tiptree marmalade and as for Hildebrande, the PMs office would be under siege at the mere suggestion"
My erstwhile colleagues nodded and murmured supportively. I pondered on the matter later and I have to tell you, I am concerned.
If you thought the advent of McDonalds and this US backchat was the beginning of the end, the blueberry is at the much more pervasive end of this wedge. We may bemoan the fate of the tart and seedy gooseberry as much as we want... Obama's army is winning this invasion of the British cultural territory and nobody has even asked if it is illegal.
Tuesday 27 July 2010
Thursday 15 July 2010
The Headmaster Ritual
Dash it all! I was so surprised that I dropped my morning paper spilling my grapefruit juice all over my kippers. The grapefruit juice was Hildebrande's idea, by the way. She has practically brow beaten the men in the family into a more healthy lifestyle. Anyway, where was I, apart from now having a soggy Times crossword?
Ah yes. It was the news that a headmaster of a primary school had managed to rack up a salary of over 200k. I thought that education didn't pay. Personally, I thought it was a bit much, in these times. I'm all for heads earning a proper wage. The 80k with say a maximum 20% on top seems reasonable for primary education. You could push that up for a secondary head, in my view.
What amazed me was that it had been on the BBC and the man was being hounded. If we are going to talk about where public money has been over committed (or wasted, I'd say) let's talk about the Samoan chappy who gained asylum and is claiming benefit while living in a Chelsea mansion because a 3 bed house "wasn't big enough" all at our expense. Now that's where the BBC should get involved. I don't recall Samoa even being one of the colonies. I'd love to know how to get a Chelsea residence on the state.
If my old pals in the party would like to chuck one my way... I will graciously accept.
Ah yes. It was the news that a headmaster of a primary school had managed to rack up a salary of over 200k. I thought that education didn't pay. Personally, I thought it was a bit much, in these times. I'm all for heads earning a proper wage. The 80k with say a maximum 20% on top seems reasonable for primary education. You could push that up for a secondary head, in my view.
What amazed me was that it had been on the BBC and the man was being hounded. If we are going to talk about where public money has been over committed (or wasted, I'd say) let's talk about the Samoan chappy who gained asylum and is claiming benefit while living in a Chelsea mansion because a 3 bed house "wasn't big enough" all at our expense. Now that's where the BBC should get involved. I don't recall Samoa even being one of the colonies. I'd love to know how to get a Chelsea residence on the state.
If my old pals in the party would like to chuck one my way... I will graciously accept.
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